


Hurricane Thoughts

by Momo1234



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Dancing, Drinking, Feelings revealed, Kissing, Low Self-Esteem, M/M, References to Depression, References to anxiety, feelings discovered, just a teeny bit spicy, panicked thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momo1234/pseuds/Momo1234
Summary: “Don’t go to the gym.” He said, his tears had stopped, but Jongho’s hand had moved to cupping his cheek. His hand was warm, Yeosang’s face was warmer. “Let hyung buy you a drink.”
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang
Comments: 10
Kudos: 156





	Hurricane Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo! Do not take this seriously, this is just be projecting my own issues onto Yeosang lmao. Hope all you lovely readers enjoy ! This is not beta'd so there are probably lots of mistakes, I may get around to editing later.

Being able to finally sit down after a grueling five-hour long dance felt like the most orgasmic thing that Yeosang could possibly experience. Jongho quickly walked over to where the elder was slumped against a practice mirror and tossed him a cold-water bottle.

Yeosang moaned his gratitude out as he twisted open the cap and downed the whole entire thing. Jongho eyed him for a moment and then once Yeosang looked up at him, wiping the excess water off of his mouth, the younger smiled at him at went towards Hongjoong to give their leader a bottle as well.

After perfecting, re-perfecting, and then perfecting their moves some more their choreographer finally decided to show them some mercy and let them go home for the day. Allowing no more than a 10- minute break throughout their whole entire practice, as they had to make sure everything would be perfect for their upcoming performances.

Yeosang was beyond drained. His things hurt, his knees ached, and his neck was stiff.

He was already planning in his head the much-needed rest he was going to take once he got back to the dorm and laid his ass down.

Maybe he would start watching that new drama Yunho had been pestering him about, maybe he would finally open up that new pack of facemasks he had bought, or maybe he would—

“We should all go see a movie!”

The rambling of Yeosang’s thoughts were interrupted by Wooyoung’s suggestion, and while he loved all of his members, in order to recuperate from this hellishly long practice Yeosang needed some alone time.

He eyed San and Mingi excitedly nodding their heads in approval to the younger’s idea, while the rest of the members declined saying they were tired from rehearsal and were planning on going right to bed once they got back home.

Wooyoung’s eyes turned to Yeosang, sitting alone in the corner of their practice room, awaiting his answer.

Things had been weird between them. Wooyoung was undoubtedly, absolutely, positively Yeosang’s closest friend. Ever since the two had met the younger had always had a way of making Yeosang feel more confident. Someone was paying attention to him for something other than his looks, someone was laughing with him instead of making jokes at his expense, someone finally wanted to truly be friends with him. 

Yeosang’s shyness had always kept him from opening up to those around him, he had always kept himself hidden behind others. Wooyoung plucked him from the shadows and gave Yeosang his full attention.

But now it felt like there was a wall between the two. Yeosang was not sure how it got there or who put it there, but he felt it.

In their shared room Yeosang did not feel warmth in his chest when Wooyoung entered, but instead dread. His attempts at talking to the other boy often ended in Wooyoung blowing him off saying he was tired and recently Wooyoung had begun to sneak into their room once he believed Yeosang to be asleep, after the crack in the door showed that the light in their room was off.

Yeosang was not dumb. He saw Wooyoung conversing with the others, watched him act normally with everybody else, and even closed his eyes at night to the sound of him giggling away in San and Yunho’s room down the hall.

He could feel himself pulling away from his members, not wanting them to begin to build their own walls.

_He realized what you truly are…he saw that you aren’t good enough…he’s leaving you behind…everyone is leaving you behind._

As Yeosang locked eyes with Wooyoung’s he felt that familiar feeling of dread.

“Ah I think I’m going to go home.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes at the reply. Yeosang felt bile rise in his throat.

Wooyoung threw his arms around San and Mingi, “Guess it’s just us!” he said as the trio headed to the door talking excitedly about which movie to see.

“Ya! Don’t come back too late” Hongjoong yelled after them as the practice room door shut.

“Sheesh, these kids.” Hongjoong said while shaking his head, he looked around the room at his remaining members, “Who wants to go get food?”

At that Yunho hurriedly began packing up his bag and bounded up to the leader, “Will you buy me something hyung?” he pouted, clasping his hands together and pleading with bright eyes.

Seonghwa came up behind the two and ruffled Yunho’s hair, “Does that mean you’ll buy me something then, Yunho-ah?” Hongjoong cackled and Yunho gasped acting scandalized.

The eldest turned to the remaining two in the room, “You two coming?”

“I may go to the gym for a little, lift some weights.” Jongho replied, stepping closer to Yeosang where his backpack happened to be lying.

Yeosang hardly heard him, and only answered once Jongho nudged him, “No I think I’m just going to go to sleep at the dorm.”

“Alright, make sure you guys eat something!” Seonghwa exclaimed as the three walked out of the room, Yunho and Hongjoong bickering over getting either ramen or beef for dinner.

As Jongho put his stuff together his eyes went back to watching Yeosang, obvious that the older was once again lost in his own thoughts.

Yeosang replayed Wooyoung rolling his eyes over and over in his mind, each time the look in his friend’s eyes became more annoyed—more repulsed, like he couldn’t even stand to look at Yeosang anymore, like being in the same room as Yeosang visibly disgusted him. Each time Yeosang repeated the memory Wooyoung’s glare became harsher and harsher. It was like the younger didn’t even like him anymore, didn’t want to be around him anymore, didn’t want to be in the same group as him—

Oh god what if Wooyoung had regretted following him? What if Wooyoung hated him?

It was so obvious. That’s why the two had become so distant. Yeosang had turned his one and only best friend against him. Wooyoung had finally realized Yeosang was not deserving of his friendship and had yanked it away.

Yeosang felt hot, the bile in his throat rising and rising, tears coming to his eyes— _oh god oh god everyone hates me._

“Hyung!”

Yeosang snapped his neck towards the sound of the voice, Jongho was still in the room, his eyes filled with concern and his face wore an expression of…sadness?

“Hyung, you’re crying” the younger kneeled down so that he was face to face with Yeosang.

Yeosang’s hands quickly went to wipe the tears away from his eyes, “No I’m not. There’s something wrong with your eyes.” He turned away from the younger’s gaze, embarrassed that he was caught in such a vulnerable position.

“I’m worried about you hyung, you haven’t been yourself lately” Jongho’s voice sounded so earnest, so sincere, Yeosang didn’t deserve that, he wasn’t good enough for sincerity. “You’ve been locking yourself up in your room, you haven’t been talking to any of us—even Wooyoung says you’re shutting him out!”

Was that what was happening?

Yeosang blinked at Jongho as he counited on talking.

He was shutting everyone out? Sure he went into his room a lot and didn’t chime into conversation as much as he wanted too, but that was because he felt like if he spent too much time with his members he would annoy them with his dry sense of humor. His jokes ended up being unintentionally blunt and he had seen the hurt looks on their faces. He had just been trying to give them space, not isolate himself? Why why why could he never do something anything right.

The tears kept on leaking from his eyes as his mind over-thought every interaction he had had with his members in the past—had everything really been so different from what it seemed?

“Hyung why are you crying?” Jongho had moved to sit down in front of Yeosang, his voice soft and gentle. His hand coming up to wipe the tears streaking the elder’s face.

Yeosang could not place the feeling bubbling up as he looked into Jongho’s eyes. It was an emotion he had never felt before, but it spread throughout his chest and stomach. He felt queasy. He wanted Jongho to look at him like this for forever.

“Don’t go to the gym.” He said, his tears had stopped, but Jongho’s hand had moved to cupping his cheek. His hand was warm, Yeosang’s face was warmer. “Let hyung buy you a drink.”

* * *

“Tell me again why I let you bring me here?” Jongho asked as the two stepped inside of a club miles away from their company and their dorm.

The music inside of the building pulsed loudly and as Yeosang eyed the multitude of liquors above the bar and the large crowd dancing their worries away, he felt better.

“Because I want to dance” he replied casually to the younger, holding Jongho’s hand and leading him to the bartender.

“We just danced for hours!”

Yeosang only smirked in his direction and yelled for four tequila shots to the man working the bar.

Jongho whined, “Hyung! I don’t even like tequila.”

“Order whatever you want, these are all for me.” Yeosang relished in Jongho’s shocked expression before tipping shot after shot into his mouth.

After the last shot, he already felt a buzz. Making a face at the barbed taste of the alcohol, Jongho laughed at him and muttered something under his breath.

Once Jongho had ordered his two drinks—something with whiskey—Yeosang had all but begged him to down his drink as well.

“C’mon Jongie, I wanna dance!”

“We can’t all chug are liquor like you can hyung. God, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much.”

“Chug! Chug! Chug!”

Jongho chuckled at him as he tipped his own drinks back and downed them in what seemed like seconds. Yeosang felt warm, he felt good. “Alright” the younger said, “Let’s dance,” and he grabbed Yeosang’s hand and led him to the crowd of moving bodies.

Yeosang knew he was not as good of a performer as some of his other team members, but he _loved_ to dance. He felt free as he swayed his body to the beat of the song, his hips occasionally bumping with Jongho’s or the bodies of those surrounding him.

Both of the them were red in the face due to the alcohol in their system, and Yeosang was happy to see that Jongho was smiling as he danced along to the music. He didn’t think he had ever seen the younger like this. Of course, the two had gotten drunk together before, but their other members were always there.

God, this may be the first time the two have even gone out together.

Yeosang was so so grateful for the maknae. Him agreeing to go along with Yeosang’s dumb idea had turned into a fun night. He had always admired the younger—his voice, his dancing, his presence, his looks. As Yeosang looked around, he saw couples dancing together intimately. He wanted to do the same.

_Oh_

That feeling bubbled up again in Yeosang’s chest. His vision was a little blurry, andhe felt a little dizzy, but god did he feel good.

A slower song came on. An RnB track that Yeosang had heard before and knew the rhythm too. He moved closer to Jongho, the younger quickly placing his arms around the elder’s neck so they laid over his chest.

The two moved together. Yeosang did not know what he was doing or what was going to happen, but he wanted more.

He arched his back just a tad and Jongho gasped into his ear. Yeosang moved to the beat of the song and heard Jongho groaning softlty behind him. Yeosang leaned his neck back so that it was on Jongho’s shoulder.

He felt so so so so good. This was his best idea in forever. All of the tension he felt from earlier today was gone. Completely gone thanks to Jongho and Yeosang was sosososo great—

_Oh_

He moaned, his thoughts cut off, as Jongho started to move his hips in time with his own.

The couple in front of them were kissing, Yeosang could see the tongue of the girl lick into the other’s mouth. He wanted that.

He turned around; head filled with Jongho. The other panting in front of him. He put his arms around the younger and just before he was about to make his move, Jongho smashed their lips together.

The kiss was intense. It was everything Yeosang needed, as he threated his fingers into Jongho’s hair and tugged slightly earning him a moan from the other as the kiss deepened.

Yeosang broke away for air and Jongho followed his lips, beginning to press kisses to his neck while muttering, “God…so hot...don’t know what you do to me…”

Yeosang’s fingers still in the other’s hair, pulled more. He wanted _more_.

Just as he was about to pull Jongho in for another kiss, his phone vibrated.

“Jongie-ah, my phone is ringing…need to get it” Jongho finally detached himself from Yeosang’s neck with a little push from the older, but went back to putting his arms around him. Yeosang saw that the call was from Hongjoong and felt a sense of impending doom.

As soon as he answered the call his hyung’s voice rang through his ears, “Where are you? It’s been two hours since practice ended. You said you were coming straight home!”

“Umm” Yeosang didn’t know how to answer.

“Is that music I hear? Yeosang, are you at a club?” Hongjoong’s voice went sharp.

“Yes,” he answered, no sense in lying. He giggled as Jongho whispered in his ear, “Ah, our fun is done.”

“Come home right now. I can’t believe this, we have a schedule we have to be at at 8am sharp, Yeosang what were you thinking?” He demanded to know, but Yeosang really had no answer for him.

“I’m sorry hyung, I just really needed a drink. We’ll be home soon” He managed to get out in between giggles, Jongho was now tickling his neck.

“ _We?_ Yeosang, you are NOT bringing some random stranger home.” This confused Yeosang.

“Huh? Jongho isn’t a stranger?” Yeosang was a mess of giggles now and Jongho’s hardy laugh had joined in.

“I thought Jongho was at the gym—you know what, just come home. Now you two.” And with that Hongjoong hung up.

“Whoops.” Jongho whispered, “Looks like we gotta go.” He pressed his lips to Yeosang’s once more.

The two left the club and waited for their Uber to come outside of the venue, Jongho’s arm around Yeosang’s shoulders and the elder’s head in the crook of his neck.

“Hyung, you never told me why you were crying.” Yeosang felt good enough to answer Jongho. He was still drunk from the tequila and the rush of Jongho’s lips.

“Hmmmm, sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough, get all inside my head because of it.” If his words were coming out slurred, Jongho didn’t poke fun at him about it.

“I just wanna do so good Jongie-ah, but I feel like I’m not, and I feel like everyone may hate me.” He sniffled, the tears threatening to pour back out.

Jongho was warm, super duper warm. He stroked Yeosang’s arm and rocked him softly.

“You are so good Sangie, could never ever hate you.”

A black KIA pulled up, their uber had arrived, and it was time to untangle themselves.

Yeosang was not sure what would happen in the morning. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what would happen once they got back to the dorm. He just wanted to keep being like this with Jongho for forever.

He looked at the younger who had stood up and reached out his hand to Yeosang.

“Think—I think I like you Jongho-ah.” The younger laughed, red appearing on his cheeks.

“I like you too, hyung, a lot.” As he brought Yeosang to his feet he pulled him close and whispered, “Want you to come find me when you feel like this again. Don’t shut yourself away hyung.”

Yeosang smiled. “Okay, I’ll try.”

And it’s true, he would try.

**Author's Note:**

> This is supposed to be a one-shot but I am not opposed to making it longer if you peeps like it! Be sure to let me know :) And just in case ppl did not catch onto it, Wooyoung was not being an asshole of any sorts!! Yeo was just over-thinking


End file.
